These Patchnotes were written by [CG] Paimon and the Original Patch notes can be found here 126.96.36.199746
A Backup is Available on the Wayback Machine here 188.8.131.52746
This Game Version can be downloaded with a Steam Depot Downloader and the following Information from SteamDB
Today marks the largest update we’ve done to Dungeon Defenders in history. We’ve got massive changes coming to the franchise! Just in time for the Etherian Humor Festival. This is gonna be a long post so let's get into it!
To start things off, the Jester has prepared something special for the heroes of Etheria. Login to Dungeon Defenders Awakened between April 1 - April 8 for a giant surprise.
There’s 4 weapons for you to transmog, A Sword, Staff, Bow and Polearm. Make sure to login to unlock these transmogs before it’s too late!
We’ve got so many changes to the Dungeon Defenders Franchise that we actually lost track of which changes go to which game, so best of luck.
The Squire's Blockade has been replaced with a banana peel. Enemies who step on it will slip and fall, taking damage in the process.
The Squire's Cannonball towers have been replaced with giant whoopee cushions. When enemies step on them, they'll be momentarily stunned by the sound of a loud fart.
The Squire's Sword attacks have been given a new combo ability: "Disco Inferno." When players perform a specific sequence of attacks, they will unleash a disco ball that appears above them and temporarily stuns enemies with its groovy light show.
The Squire's Boost aura has been replaced with a "Snack Break" aura. While in the aura, players will receive periodic snacks like cookies or chips that temporarily increase their stats. The snacks are randomly generated and may have unusual effects like turning players into chickens or making them randomly shout out phrases like "I love pickles!"
The Squire's ultimate ability has been replaced with "Summon the Squid." When activated, a giant squid will appear and flail around on the battlefield, causing chaos and confusion among enemies. It doesn't do any damage, but it's definitely entertaining to watch.
The Apprentice's Magic Missile towers have been replaced with "Rubber Chickens of Doom." These giant chickens can bounce around the battlefield and cause damage to enemies upon impact. Their clucking can also distract enemies and make them easier to hit.
The Apprentice's Fireball towers have been replaced with "Ice Cream Cannons." These towers shootout streams of delicious ice cream that slow down enemies and cover them in sprinkles. The ice cream is sticky, so it also makes enemies easier to hit.
The Apprentice's Lightning towers have been replaced with "Karaoke Machines." These towers play loud music that temporarily stuns enemies with their terrible singing. The Apprentice can choose from a variety of songs to play, including classics like "I Will Survive" and "Bohemian Rhapsody."
The Apprentice's Arcane Barrier ability has been replaced with "Bubble Wrap Barrier." When activated, the Apprentice will be surrounded by a barrier made of bubble wrap. This barrier can absorb damage, but it will pop after a certain amount of hits. Enemies will also be distracted by the popping sounds and may stop attacking to join in the fun.
The Apprentice's ultimate ability has been replaced with "Summon the Unicorn." When activated, a majestic unicorn will appear on the battlefield and prance around, distracting enemies with its beauty. The unicorn is invincible and doesn't do any damage, but it's definitely a sight to behold.
The Huntress's Explosive Traps have been replaced with "Pie Traps." These devious traps will blast enemies with a face full of whipped cream and pie filling. The pies are surprisingly effective at slowing down enemies and making them easier to hit.
The Huntress's Geyser Traps have been replaced with "Soda Pop Fountains." These fountains shoot out streams of fizzy soda pop that drench enemies and make them sticky. The soda also makes enemies burp loudly, revealing their location and making them vulnerable to attacks.
The Huntress's Gas Traps have been replaced with "Stink Bombs." These foul-smelling bombs emit a cloud of stinky gas that repels enemies and makes them dizzy. The stench is so bad that it can also make players gag, temporarily lowering their accuracy.
The Huntress's Piercing Shot ability has been replaced with "Love Arrows." These arrows have been enchanted with a love spell that causes enemies to become enamored with each other. They'll start dancing and singing together, completely ignoring players until the spell wears off.
The Huntress's ultimate ability has been replaced with "Summon the Dragon." When activated, a giant dragon will swoop down and scorch enemies with its fiery breath. The dragon is also surprisingly agile and can perform aerial acrobatics that distract enemies.
The Monk's Lightning Auras have been replaced with "Disco Balls." These funky balls will emit groovy music and bright, flashing lights that temporarily stun enemies with their disco fever.
The Monk's Boost Auras have been replaced with "Pizza Party Auras." While in the aura, players will receive periodic slices of pizza that temporarily increase their stats. The pizza toppings are randomly generated and may have unusual effects like turning players into zombies or making them randomly shout out phrases like "I love broccoli!"
The Monk's Sky Guard Towers have been replaced with "Flying Monkeys." These winged primates can fly around and attack enemies with their banana bombs. They can also steal weapons from enemies and use them against their former owners.
The Monk's Hero Boost ability has been replaced with "Super Saiyan Boost." When activated, the Monk will temporarily transform into a Super Saiyan, increasing their speed, power, and hair volume. Enemies will be too stunned by the transformation to attack.
The Monk's ultimate ability has been replaced with "Summon the Unicorn Ninja." When activated, a mystical unicorn ninja will appear on the battlefield and strike enemies with its deadly horn. It can also vanish into thin air and reappear elsewhere, making it difficult for enemies to track.
All enemies have been given party hats. It doesn't make them any less dangerous, but it does make them look a little silly.
We have heard your cries for more cosmetics! Considering the fan favoritism towards the pizza wings we have replaced every texture in the game with the pizza texture in hopes to make the game more aesthetically pleasing.
The final boss of the game has been replaced with a giant, inflatable chicken. Defeating it will be a little anticlimactic, but it's definitely more amusing.
Removed Kart Racing Gamemode.
We’d like to welcome our newest team member to the studio, Chat Gpt! In fact they are the ones that help make this update possible and wrote the patch notes!
We hope you enjoy these legitimate and well thought out changes to Dungeon Defenders! Just remember, these are 100% REAL permanent additions to the game in hopes of achieving “true balance” so all complaints will be filed in the Corgi Paper Shredding Department. Happy defending!
To stay up-to-date on the latest news from Chromatic Games and the Dungeon Defenders franchise, follow us on all our social channels: